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A Hopeless CaseI'm just delusional.
Or that's way they say,
I'm living my life in an unreal way.
There is no meaning,
There is no care.
Especially not in some stupid old bear.
The card remains unopened.
The package never sent.
Just like the feelings came and went.
You silly girl,
You should know better
Than to wear your heart on the sleeve of your sweater/
I may seem crazy,
To you and your friends,
But I really thought you didn't want this friendship to end.
The phone stays silent,
And the doorbell hasn't rung,
While my tears sing the saddest song that has ever been sung.
GoodbyeThe cool metal feels calming against my burning skin.
A sense of peace will soon be found.
A momentary sting,
Followed by sweet relief.
Goodbye to all you haters,
Goodbye to all the pain,
Goodbye to all the judgement,
Goodbye to all the teasing,
Goodbye to those who lied,
Goodbye to those who laughed,
To those who did not believe when I said that I was done.
Goodbye to the few who cared.
Don't blame yourself.
Some people aren't cut out for this cruel world.
Goodbye to those I love, though few and far between,
I really did try.
The EndI've done all I can,
The war is over,
I've tried my best.
I'm not going to fight you.
I'm not going to try and get you back.
And with that,
Far away from here.
Into the deep blue horizon,
Through the bright white clouds,
The earth is spinning around me.
My field of vision blurs.
All I can say is "I'm sorry,"
Then everything goes dark.
What You Said Hurts...You really know how to hurt me.
You know exactly what to say to make me cry.
You can't just let me be.
So now I'm saying goodbye.
You say that I'm a bad friend.
That you've tried to be there for me when needed.
But the truth is you just couldn't bend
And do something unconceited.
I'm sorry, oh wait, no I'm not.
You did this to yourself.
My confidence and self pride you shot.
So our friendship I'm putting on the shelf.
It will never come down.
I cannot stand the insults you threw.
I thought we were the best friends around.
But the facts you always misconstrue.
So this is all,
You ruined it.
Now the cards will fall.
While I take the hit.
Just, Go AwayIt may seem selfish,
It may seem stupid,
But you just don't understand.
You say you care,
But you don't show it,
Stop lying and let me go.
I need to stop and figure out
Exactly what I'm trying to be.
You don't help,
You never have.
I don't know why I thought you did.
You make things worse,
Make me want to cry.
You say things are different,
But they're really not,
They're the same as they always were.
You have her,
And I have me.
That's all that will ever be.
MovingI stare at the walls.
These walls I've seen for years.
If these walls could talk, I wonder what stories they would tell.
What would they tell you about me?
They'd tell you I'm overemotional,
Judging my how many times I have sat within those walls and cried.
They'd tell you how I cry for reasons that I cannot control,
Over useless pointless subjects.
How I cry over lost causes,
Some more lost than others.
They'd tell you the type of friends I have,
And that some are not worth having.
They'd tell you how lost I am.
They'd tell you how close I've gotten to actually hurting myself,
And then how I did not.
A Magical NightI glance across the room. Hoping to catch your gaze. Somehow, you probably sense my stare, your eyes meet mine. A flicker of wonder and confusion flashes in your eyes and across your face as you start to make your way towards me. I look down, face flushing in embarrassment at the fact that you caught me staring. You just look so good in that tux. Even in a crowd of teenagers, I was able to spot you in the mess. I wonder what you think of me. Do I look okay? I probably look ridiculous. I shouldn't have come here. This was a stupid idea. I should just go.
As I turn to leave, I feel a hand lightly grab my bare forearm. My long, loosely curled, red hair bounces as I turn my head, looking up to find those chocolate brown eyes I've lost myself in before looking at me. Boring into my soul.
"I'm sorry, I was just going," I whisper softly, but knowing you can hear me.
"Tess?" you say before a flash of recognition flicks into your eyes, like a light was just turned on in your brain.
Grandmother...You were there for me when I called,
I knew that you would have never stalled
To come and get me if I was on trouble.
You'd be there quick, on the double.
But now you need me, and I cannot be there,
I wish there was a way I could because I care.
You've taught me so much in my life,
Without you I will be in so much strife.
That's why you cannot go.
I won't let you. NO!
I'm not ready for you to leave,
You have so much time, I believe.
But if God wants you, I cannot stop him.
But I will go out on any limb,
To keep you here with your family dear,
I will always love you, and keep you near.
The AftermathMy phone emits that familiar tune,
I glance over and see that it's you.
I press ignore as my eyes start to water.
I throw off the blanket, as I start getting hotter.
You know what you've done,
Know why I have replied to none
Of the messages you sent,
You cannot repair this dent
That you've made in my heart.
I told you straight from the start.
When I fall, I fall hard.
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, i do.
i may not see the moon, but
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Catch Me I'm FallingKeep me here.
Away from fear.
As the light calls,
And as my breath falls.
I don't want this feeling,
That my life He is stealing.
Don't let Him take me.
Please help me flee.
Or, let me go.
Then I'll know.
That maybe it's better this way,
That I have no reason to stay.
I'll leave here without a word,
On the wings of a small silent bird.
You won't even know I've gone.
My person you'll never have to look upon.
Keep in Touch!