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A Hopeless CaseI'm just delusional.
Or that's way they say,
I'm living my life in an unreal way.
There is no meaning,
There is no care.
Especially not in some stupid old bear.
The card remains unopened.
The package never sent.
Just like the feelings came and went.
You silly girl,
You should know better
Than to wear your heart on the sleeve of your sweater/
I may seem crazy,
To you and your friends,
But I really thought you didn't want this friendship to end.
The phone stays silent,
And the doorbell hasn't rung,
While my tears sing the saddest song that has ever been sung.
GoodbyeThe cool metal feels calming against my burning skin.
A sense of peace will soon be found.
A momentary sting,
Followed by sweet relief.
Goodbye to all you haters,
Goodbye to all the pain,
Goodbye to all the judgement,
Goodbye to all the teasing,
Goodbye to those who lied,
Goodbye to those who laughed,
To those who did not believe when I said that I was done.
Goodbye to the few who cared.
Don't blame yourself.
Some people aren't cut out for this cruel world.
Goodbye to those I love, though few and far between,
I really did try.
The EndI've done all I can,
The war is over,
I've tried my best.
I'm not going to fight you.
I'm not going to try and get you back.
And with that,
Far away from here.
Into the deep blue horizon,
Through the bright white clouds,
The earth is spinning around me.
My field of vision blurs.
All I can say is "I'm sorry,"
Then everything goes dark.
What You Said Hurts...You really know how to hurt me.
You know exactly what to say to make me cry.
You can't just let me be.
So now I'm saying goodbye.
You say that I'm a bad friend.
That you've tried to be there for me when needed.
But the truth is you just couldn't bend
And do something unconceited.
I'm sorry, oh wait, no I'm not.
You did this to yourself.
My confidence and self pride you shot.
So our friendship I'm putting on the shelf.
It will never come down.
I cannot stand the insults you threw.
I thought we were the best friends around.
But the facts you always misconstrue.
So this is all,
You ruined it.
Now the cards will fall.
While I take the hit.
Just, Go AwayIt may seem selfish,
It may seem stupid,
But you just don't understand.
You say you care,
But you don't show it,
Stop lying and let me go.
I need to stop and figure out
Exactly what I'm trying to be.
You don't help,
You never have.
I don't know why I thought you did.
You make things worse,
Make me want to cry.
You say things are different,
But they're really not,
They're the same as they always were.
You have her,
And I have me.
That's all that will ever be.
MovingI stare at the walls.
These walls I've seen for years.
If these walls could talk, I wonder what stories they would tell.
What would they tell you about me?
They'd tell you I'm overemotional,
Judging my how many times I have sat within those walls and cried.
They'd tell you how I cry for reasons that I cannot control,
Over useless pointless subjects.
How I cry over lost causes,
Some more lost than others.
They'd tell you the type of friends I have,
And that some are not worth having.
They'd tell you how lost I am.
They'd tell you how close I've gotten to actually hurting myself,
And then how I did not.
A Magical NightI glance across the room. Hoping to catch your gaze. Somehow, you probably sense my stare, your eyes meet mine. A flicker of wonder and confusion flashes in your eyes and across your face as you start to make your way towards me. I look down, face flushing in embarrassment at the fact that you caught me staring. You just look so good in that tux. Even in a crowd of teenagers, I was able to spot you in the mess. I wonder what you think of me. Do I look okay? I probably look ridiculous. I shouldn't have come here. This was a stupid idea. I should just go.
As I turn to leave, I feel a hand lightly grab my bare forearm. My long, loosely curled, red hair bounces as I turn my head, looking up to find those chocolate brown eyes I've lost myself in before looking at me. Boring into my soul.
"I'm sorry, I was just going," I whisper softly, but knowing you can hear me.
"Tess?" you say before a flash of recognition flicks into your eyes, like a light was just turned on in your brain.
Grandmother...You were there for me when I called,
I knew that you would have never stalled
To come and get me if I was on trouble.
You'd be there quick, on the double.
But now you need me, and I cannot be there,
I wish there was a way I could because I care.
You've taught me so much in my life,
Without you I will be in so much strife.
That's why you cannot go.
I won't let you. NO!
I'm not ready for you to leave,
You have so much time, I believe.
But if God wants you, I cannot stop him.
But I will go out on any limb,
To keep you here with your family dear,
I will always love you, and keep you near.
The AftermathMy phone emits that familiar tune,
I glance over and see that it's you.
I press ignore as my eyes start to water.
I throw off the blanket, as I start getting hotter.
You know what you've done,
Know why I have replied to none
Of the messages you sent,
You cannot repair this dent
That you've made in my heart.
I told you straight from the start.
When I fall, I fall hard.
I am a MouseI am a mouse.
I am quiet, I am nothing.
I am a book that nobody has read.
I am an eclipsed sun and a cloaked moon.
I am irrelevant and unwanted, a broken toy in an attic.
I am the dust in your rear-view mirror that you leave behind.
I am the air that you breathe in and spit out as something different.
I am the palest white. I am the darkest black. I am the dullest, emptiest grey.
I am the old man with forgotten memories and the baby who has yet to make them.
I am a forgotten word, dangling on the tip of your tongue, hanging on the noose of your lips.
I am a dried up stream. I am a felled forest. I am an abandoned cornucopia of resolute nothingness.
And there is Hell burning in my eyes.
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
you talk like a travestyoh, mercury boy, you can't
write your way out of this
body or out of this mind;
you can pray like it's high-fashion,
insist you're only burning yourself out
(but tell me - do you feel like a god yet?)
if only for murky mirrors &
silver cicadas caught
in your ribcage, you've
got a knack for decaying
poem for borderlinesif i could concentrate over
seven hundred thousand eyes
at the roof to the numbers stepping
from the nicities & rows
to go back
to the shattered surface
& the ripples beating over the hang
halfway between shallow
biting lips. maybe--
she couldn't have known
that it takes a whole three minutes
for the lungs to
well, maybe she
who, oh well
the white; the haze--
the booming over
the spume and spray
me get out of my head
just pull up the shutters
my tongue the weight to talk
but that's all we'll ever be:
a match burning itself out for
under the backspray of someone else's wheels
The PointIt’s the taste of cake mix on the spoon, that first time you ‘help’ bake a cake.
It’s seeing the bright world afresh after a dark nightmare, when you first wake.
It’s when you make them laugh and, in that moment, everyone loves a clown.
It’s when your heart stops before the roller coaster plummets down, down.
It’s when the lights go out before your favourite band plays and you scream.
It’s that moment you look around and everything’s perfect enough to be a dream.
It’s the anticipation of waiting for a new episode of your favourite television show.
It’s the first time you listen to your favourite record and you just sort of know.
It’s reading a book cover-to-cover and a million times more and still crying at the ending.
It’s the stiff, tight, real feeling of a smiling scab as you watch the wound mending.
It’s when you first meet your best friend and you hate each other (but in a good way).
Catch Me I'm FallingKeep me here.
Away from fear.
As the light calls,
And as my breath falls.
I don't want this feeling,
That my life He is stealing.
Don't let Him take me.
Please help me flee.
Or, let me go.
Then I'll know.
That maybe it's better this way,
That I have no reason to stay.
I'll leave here without a word,
On the wings of a small silent bird.
You won't even know I've gone.
My person you'll never have to look upon.
You're Not A PoetYou’re not a poet because of strung words
Together on row upon row again
Of blank verse or perhaps liberal rhyme.
‘Slam’ all you want, other poets wonder;
Your ignorance of couplets a blunder?
Yes! I speak harshly, but it’s no gross crime,
To point with honesty failed verse of thine.
No real poet discards upper case words;
Lets prose crawl on paper like listless worms.
You seek to free verse of those stern letters,
Sever away bleak capital fetters,
But it doesn’t sing of great speech sublime,
Rather, it sneaks of writing in spare time.
Wait! before you throw me in the icy Rhine;
It’s hard to put verse together in rhyme,
To make our dull words sound great all the time,
Hear them ring out loud, like a clear clock’s chime,
Heralding a poet’s summer prime.
Yet the sacred muses weep at your crime;
Your pentameter mangled thick like slime,
The subject not gilded in raiment fine;
Your bold ink font, crystal waters divine
Tastes bitter to the ton
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More